When Paris Hilton threw herself on the mercy of the court back in January, Lady Justice looked sympathetically upon the wayward heiress' DUI ways, sentencing the preeminent area flashbulb-whore to 36 months of probation, reducible to 24 with optional community service. Sadly, Hilton's recidivist nature would prevent her from resisting the Call of the Strip, as she was stopped speeding on Sunset around 11 p.m. last night, with her headlights off and in possession of a suspended licence. The probation violation could result in the "Stars Are Blind" singer's next impromptu table-top performance occuring at a medium-security correctional facility dining hall near you:
"Our office is waiting to obtain a copy of the citation," said Nick Velasquez, a spokesman for the Los Angeles city attorney's office. "Once we're able to verify that Miss Hilton was driving the vehicle, we will request that the court revoke her probation and set a probation violation hearing."
Hilton could face up to 90 days in jail if a judge finds she violated her probation, he said.
While a three-month Paris-in-lockdown stint might be exactly the kind of poetic comeuppance millions of her detractors had long fantasized about, we'd caution not to too hastily underestimate Hilton's impressive, Darwinian abilities: Not only does the genus manage to briskly adapt to new environments, it also successfully scales social strata through a combination of wily, cutthroat survival instincts, and the proffering of complimentary samples of its two signature scents, Paris Hilton and Just Me. We therefore suspect that by the fourth week of any incarceration, the fallen heiress will reign supreme over all three castes of her adopted community, with the newly fragrant Bulldykes, Ladies of Muhammed, and Aryanne Nation shiving each other regularly in the prison yard in the hopes of gaining exclusive access to the new Alpha Girl in town in the bitchin' orange hot-pants/jumpsuit number.
- Paris Hilton may have probation revoked [AP/Yahoo]