Those of you who tuned into last night's edition of zeitgeisty, karaoke superstar contest American Idol know that our fearless leader Mark's tireless campaigning on behalf of long shot contestant Sanjaya Malakar was not done in vain, as another dark-skinned effeminate ended up being sacrificed in his place. Unfortunately, an energized Mark emerged from the taping ready to celebrate, and three hours, and six Disaronno Sours later, poor Mark found himself staring down the shaft of a West Hollywood Sheriff's Officer's Maglite, being asked pointedly, "Why were you speeding with your Bentley Continental's headlights off, sir?" The situation only escalated when Mark responded by clumsily lifting his fist into the air, Black Panthers-style, and slur-shouted, "SANJAYA NATION! Whoo!" Miraculously, the officer on duty was also a diehard fan (in fact the two had already become acquainted in a chat room!), and so he was let go with a warning, and a pledge to swap whatever MP3s they could get their hands on.

As for his whereabouts today, I can't really help you. But everything will be back to normal on Monday.