Yesterday's Page Six offered up another poor review of ICM's new Century City headquarters, claiming that the agency's underwhelmed, Fiji-water-and-natural-light deprived staffers are quietly bitching about their cramped facilities, with their CAA Death Star envy becoming so acute that "embarrassed" agents have supposedly taken to conducting their dealings away from the office:
AGENTS at L.A.-based talent agency International Creative Management are suffering relocation shock. A number of them are grumbling over their company's recent move from their Beverly Hills headquarters to a new space in Century City - directly across from competing Creative Artists Agency.
Sources say ICM's 10-percenters are complaining their new digs are "half the size" of their old ones. Some embarrassed dealmakers have even been conducting meetings with clients "outside the office," said our spy. A rep for ICM responded, "That is completely false." William Morris will also soon be moving from Beverly Hills to more affordable Century City.
While there's no doubt that some ICMers are less than thrilled with their new digs, this item was quite clearly planted as part of the "Welcome to the Neighborhood" campaign that CAA has recently undertaken to sap the will of their rivals upon their utterly ill-advised move onto the evil agenting monolith's Century City turf. Now that the terror offensive has moved into its psychological-warfare phase, expect more suspiciously unsourced reports claiming that ICM's drones, humiliated and hunch-backed by their cramped quarters, have started taking meetings in CAA's lobby, where they dejectedly tell clients that they should probably just sign with an agency powerful enough to build a gleaming monument to their own hegemony. After a couple of more weeks of such psychically punishing tactics, a Creative Artists infantry will raid ICM's headquarters and easily enslave its demoralized staff, quickly converting the usurped space into cold storage for its overflowing supply of delicious babies.