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The date: March 5, 2007, 10am
The place: Mulberry at Prince
Sighting: Just saw Sienna Miller and her hiptard boyfriend. They looked coked out and as if they hadn't been home from the night before. She was dressed in a Kate Moss wanna-be outfit. Looked stupid. Probably is.

You know how Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck? (Or used to be anyway, fingers crossed on the rehab stint!) But let's talk old, letter-writing Lohan for a minute. She was always drunk and high and hooking up with inappropriate men and yet it never felt forced. She wasn't doing it for our benefit. Her mom's a whore and her dad's in jail, her craziness is organic. It's real. Sienna Miller is the exact opposite of that.

The girl is trying so hard she's about to break a leg. Drugs? Loves 'em. Smokes? Can't get enough! She parties late night with Diddy. And sometimes she gets like, totally coked out, stays up all night and wanders the streets of NYC the next morning looking strung out. Whatever. We're not buying it.

More likely, Sienna decided after the whole nanny incident that she didn't want our pity. She didn't want to be Aniston-ed, if you will. So, she slapped on the black eyeliner Jersey-style and decided to go for badass. Unfortunately, she's not really selling it. The only thing Sienna Miller is putting out there authentically is that she's a brat.

No one pimped her out as a child to support the family. She went to private school. She's Gwyneth Paltrow with a British accent and no acting talent. What she needs to do is put on some pants and realize that, as our tipster notes, Kate Moss already covered this ground. And when Kate Moss did it, we believed it. There was video.

Gawker Stalker
Earlier: Hugh Grant's About a Ploy