Slate, a property of the Washington Post Company, notes an article in the flagship paper about vaginal rejuvenations, the "controversial procedures that use a laser to enhance sexual gratification by repairing tissue damaged by childbirth, to give women a 'youthful aesthetic look' or to make those who are not appear to be virgins." We're not sure whether you're for or against ladyparts-tightening, but an article stuffed with this much information cannot be ignored. Stylish and sleek, it's a bit difficult to penetrate, but we recommend sticking to it; you'll find yourself going in and out. It's a taut little piece, carpeted with fascinating detail, and may be the best thing you'll read about cooch constriction this year. Hahahaha, see what we did there? God, there's kind of nothing on the internets today. Could someone fire Tony Ortega already?