On the Manliest, Most Vivid Meats

Today's issue of T is devoted to men's fashion, and just about everything—from the piece on how Greek-style homoerotica is making a come back in advertising to the photo essay on flirty college kids— is par for the course. Except! On page 104, which features the above picture, and a column called "The Mantry." Apparently, this will be a recurring feature, in which author Oliver Schwaner-Albright will "[demystify] cooking for greenhorn gourmands." This piece in particular is called "Race for the Cured." It's about all the different salamis you can eat.

According to the Contributors page, Schwaner-Albright researched the piece by tearing through "a fridge full of salumi, ranging from prosciutto to lardo, with the help of a deli-type slicer." The fruits/meats of his labor are evident: over the course of the splendid little piece, he manages remarkable things.

First, he endorses a Berkeley butchery called The Fatted Calf (!) that cures grass-fed eye round with "sea salt and spices" and "slathers with a funky coat of red wine and garlic paste" (!!). Then he talks about "pork shoulder and neck," which is a "delicious swirl of fat and rosy meat." Next there's an item about the aforementioned lardo, which is a form of "advanced salumi" that is "nearly impossible to find."

There are many other delightful things to be found in The Mantry—seriously, Schwaner-Albright's sense of timing and alliteration w/r/t meats is astounding—but the last one we'll mention is the part where he defines prosciutto as "a ham hind leg that's been boned, salted, air-dried and...aged for at least eight months."

Here is a picture of Schwaner-Albright that we found on New York Social Diary. You can see that he is making some grilled cheeses.

On the Manliest, Most Vivid Meats