Good news for fans of anonymous media tits: the photo shoot for Jane's guide to boobs took place on Saturday, despite the magazine's earlier claim that they'd canceled the shoot because the list of participants—which included some familiar names—was inadvertently leaked. However, the boob-baring volunteers were phoned individually late last week to determine whether they'd still be willing to participate. Our own Intern Stephanie was one of these women. This is her story.
There will be not pictures supplied with this feature so don't even think about asking. I arrive at Sun Studios, which is located in a nondescript building at the corner of Broadway and Houston. When I walk in, I see a bunch of random people standing and sitting everywhere. After a couple awkward seconds, a blond with a blackberry introduces herself as Heather, Jane's booking editor, and tells me to help myself to breakfast, which I do. There is a wide variety of food: bagels, eggs, bacon, sausage, tater tots and cereal. I feel like I'm at IHOP, except that I'm about to take off my shirt for the camera, which almost never happens at IHOP.
I unsuccessfully try to make eye contact slash initiate a conversation with some of the other girls. They glare back at me. You know the scene in Mean Girls where Janice is introducing Cady to cafeteria cliques? She's like, " Asian nerds... cool Asians... sexually active band geeks... unfriendly black hotties, etc...." These three girls were definitely unfriendly black hotties. I sit on the couch next to Heather - who barely looks up from her Blackberry - and compose a paragraph about why I love my boobs, which may or may not appear in the magazine.
I eavesdrop on conversations while waiting for the unfriendly black hotties to finish flashing their boobs to Brooke, the photographer.
Crisis! Heather doesn't want to stay until 5:00. She wants to leave at 3:00.
The plan? Heather calls the remaining girls to ask them to come earlier.
Crisis! There are only "about 30" girls. They may need more.
The plan? Heather, another Jane staffer (didn't catch her name), and Brooke call their friends.
Crisis! Heather is lonely, bored, etc....
The plan? Heather calls her sister, a student at Pace, and asks her to stop by. In this conversation, I learn that Heather's parents "winter" in Miami. Also, that Heather is the kind of person who uses "winter" as a verb.
After the three hotties bare their boobs, it's my turn. The waiting area and the shooting area are small and separated only by mismatched curtains. While sitting in the waiting area, you could catch of glimpse of boobage if you positioned yourself in the right spot.
Unfortunately, I forgot that the first shots were avec bra. I'm wearing a pink and purple polka dot bra from Kohl's. Brooke seems to approve, and starts clicking away. [Ed: Intern Stephanie has a stupendous rack, just FYI.] Brooke clicks away. I pose with my hands at my waist, behind my back, and then they have me do the obligatory hands-over-the-nipples Janet Jackson shot.
After I'm done, I sneak a peek at the computer to see my shots. I look fat. I hope they airbrush that out. I hastily throw on my top, grab my bag, thank Heather - who looks up from her Blackberry to cheerfully say goodbye - and head towards the door. As I leave, I see Brooke helping herself to some tater tots. At least she has good taste.