Imaginary 'Toos Weighs In On Slim New 'Seventeen'

April's ish of Seventeen is the first produced under new E in C Ann Shoket's regime. Is she working hard to differentiate herself from her predecessoress, the voluptuous, tribe-gathering, sparkling magical rainbow that is Atoosa Rubenstein? Well, our first clue was in her editorial letter, where she mentioned her formerly frizzy hair. Straight from the Toos's duckling-to-swan playbook! But a darker side of Shoket lay on the selfsame page: "I had three Red Bulls to get through this loooong photo shoot!" she claimed. Hmm, do girls with healthy body images chug three Red Bulls? And do they run cover lines like the one at right, or like "Get Your Best Butt?" We asked the Atoosa Rubenstein who lives in our mind what she thought of the changes.

Rhymes With Memily: Hi! I was hoping you would betray your prot g by calling her an anti-lady skinny ho!
Thurston's Mom: Omg HI!
Rhymes With Memily: Hi! Well, first things first, how is Thurston?
Thurston's Mom: Well, like I said on my blog, ever since I stared calling him my Miracle Lion, we've both been better. Also, we watch my DVD of The Secret together a lot. I think it's curing his cancer! That and the chemo.
Rhymes with Memily: If you can dream it, it will come to you!
Thurston's Mom: Right, exactly.
Rhymes With Memily: I loved it recently when you went off on the Westchester high school that suspended three students for saying 'vagina' during a production of the Vagina monologues. I think it's really important for us ladies to feel comfortable with our bodies. How are we supposed to feel comfortable if we can't even talk out loud about our sloppy cooch holes?
Thurston's Mom: Well, that's not really how I would put it. But I do think it's important for girls to feel comfortable with their bodies.
Rhymes With Memily: Right, like you said: "I don't want anyone making you feel dirty because you want to understand your body."
Thurston's Mom: I am so glad we feel the same way!
Rhymes With Memily: Uh huh. But do you think Ann Shoket does?
Thurston's Mom: Um. I can't really ... well, what do you mean?
Rhymes With Memily: "Is school secretly making you fat?"
Thurston's Mom: Oh, that. Um. It's just about how to eat healthy in the school cafeteria!
Rhymes With Memily: Is it, um, a little weird that one page after the mag recommends eating a turkey wrap with "two thin slices of turkey and one slice low-fat cheese," an apple, a fat-free pudding cup, and water for lunch, there's an article about a girl who died of an eating disorder?
Thurston's Mom: Sounds like you're trying pretty hard to find faults.
Rhymes With Memily: Okay, maybe. But how do you feel about this sentence: "The natural fibers help protect your sensitive vulva from the dirty world outside"?
Thurston's Mom: Pretty good actually!
Rhymes With Memily: I guess things haven't really changed that much.
Thurston's Mom: They really haven't, except maybe there are fewer ad pages. Oops, did I say that! Slap me! I'm a bad girl!
Rhymes With Memily: LOL
Thurston's Mom: ;)

Earlier: Ann Shoket Says 'Hi!' From Seventeen