94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.
Last week, ABC announced that they've greenlighted a half-hour pilot starring the Geico Insurance cavemen. The show reportedly will be called..."Cavemen."
While Geico will have no creative control of the plot, they will receive a royalty payment for use of the characters. "We sell insurance; we don't make TV shows...We are excited to have an opportunity to do a brand extension," understated Ted Ward, Geico's VP of marketing, as he simultaneously pissed and shit the pants of his Joseph Abboud suit.
NBC apparently turned down the cavemen pitch. However, the Peacock, as well as CBS, FOX and the CW, are all mulling over some other hastily-conceived ad icon sitcom treatments submitted by jealous, hacky copywriters.
DoubleDouble—starring Natalie and Nicole, the Doublemint Twins, and Vince & Larry, the Crash Test Dummies. Maybe Vince is a Goofus character, Larry a Gallant. Scenarios: The Dummies would always be trying to sneak backseat quickies with the Twins between crashes in the testing lab; The Twins could invite the Dummies over to watch NASCAR, Crash, etc. [Ed. Note: It went so well for Katey Sagal's twin sisters!]
The Bod Couple—starring Mr. Clean and Brawnyman, and set in and around the gorgeous Chelsea NYC duplex apartment of the happy-go-lucky lovers. But instead of one slob and one neat-freak, we have here one man who favors traditional products while the other insists on green cleaners. Hilarious tension ensues weekly. [Ed. Note: Also: buttfucking!]
Easy Company—Set in a sleek slick Silicon Valley tech company, two goofball junior web designers (the "I'm a Mac" guy & ?) secretly use a magical Staples Easy Button to finish their work at the last minute. Scenarios: always losing the Button, natch; taking the Button to bars to turn prudish SanFran hippie chicks into nymphos; etc.
Related: The Vivid Entertainment Group announced via press release that they've signed Bob the Enzyte guy to a one-year, 1,000-movie contract.
Earlier: The Axe Effect