The World's Worst New Media Resume

Dorian Benkoil, the former editorial director of Mediabistro, is serving out his last month on the job, whatever that job is. Hey, he lasted like 7 or 8 months longer than the 6 months we predicted! So we thought we'd take a look at his resume and see what he has to offer this beautiful world of new media.

Lead editorial team across multiple platforms toward production of content for direct and ad revenues, marketing/PR, membership and audience development. Oversee complex network of blogs covering multiple industry verticals.
Okay, he supervised some folks running blogs that worked different beats! (Verticals! Hnarf! The worst buzz-word of our time.)
Speak publicly, to the press and on air on digital media and community.
This isn't even English. (Fortunately, he speaks Japanese!)
Optimize traffic through use of Web analytics, search engine optimization and marketing, RSS, e-mail and other PR, marketing and technological techniques.
He checked stats and sent emails!
Increase editorial coverage in key revenue-producing areas. Maximize editorial effectiveness to increase audience and attract quality advertisers.
If that's maximized editorial effectiveness, then we're the Christian Science Monitor . We're not sure this one is even true.
Negotiate editorial and commercial partnerships.
So that's what editorial directors do in the new media world—the job of the business-end folks. In the age of editors who actually do the jobs that publishers used to do, we suppose this makes a sad kind of sense.
Recruit and train staff to assemble peak performance teams.
What is this, Men's Health ? Are we climbing Himalayas?
Conceived, oversaw, launched and moderated highly profitable breakfast speakers professional series. Produced concurrent video.
Now, this we did not know! That's a lot of verbs, too! Still, at least here he gets our attention: "highly profitable"! Hey hey! And breakfast! Mmm, breakfast.

Dorian Benkoil's Professional Web Page [Benkoil]