Last night on "American Idol," Simon Cowell (he's the mean English one) made a comment that seemed to suggest something untoward about Ryan Seacrest's gender preferences—specifically, he begged him to "come out" of the closet. Whether this badinage was meant to provide levity or was another example of Cowell's foul tempered pursuit of truth, we object. Nothing we have seen over the years has ever suggested that Seacrest is anything less than a full-blooded heterosexual American male. For proof, Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley has assembled a montage of straight-acting moments. We think the results speak for themselves.