Stalk of the Town: Barbara Bush - You Decide

The date: March 1st, 9 p.m

The place: The Spotted Pig, 314 west 11th street

Sighting: "Little Babs at the Spotted Pig last night. She got there at about 9:30pm and was with 4 good looking yet Eurotrash-esque guys. Someone at the bar said it best: 'You have to be famous to be that ugly and still surrounded by good looking people.'"

The date: March 3rd, 12 a.m.

The place: La Esquina, 106 Kenmare

Sighting: "Saw Barbara Bush with a group of 5 girls dining and drinking at La Esquina. I read what was said about her at Spotted Pig. She actually looked pretty hot. Very Evangeline Lilly-esque."

The date: March 3rd, 1 p.m.

The place: Whole Foods, E. 14th street and Union Square West

Sighting: "Saw Barbara bush (twin) at whole foods today in union square. She is stunning in person, amazing blue eyes and she must be healthy because she was buying a kombucha. She seemed sweet, her friend was talking about Scottish fold cats."

Abraham Lincoln once said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Though he was referring to slavery in particular, there is currently another, potentially more explosive issue threatening to tear this nation apart at its very seams. First Twin Barbara Bush - hideous or gorgeous? Below, we examine the evidence using a time-honored three-prong test for political celebrity attractiveness.

Prong 1 - Is the celebrity in question attractive compared to his/her peers?

While Barbara certainly does not have the luscious gigundos of Alexandra Kerry, she does compare favorably to Emma Bloomberg, who may or may not closely resemble a small woodland creature. Certainly Barbara beats out early Chelsea Clinton, but since America loves a good makeover story, and Chelsea has recently gotten with the program and obtained a chin implant and a flat iron, it's no landslide win for Barbara. However the fact remains that she remains doable.

Prong 2 - Is the celebrity in question attractive compared to his/her family?

While there has been much debate about whether Barbara is better looking than her sister Jenna, British FHM ranked Jenna and Barbara numbers 17 and 18, respectively, on its Most Eligible Bachelorette List - conclusive proof that Jenna is indeed better looking. Barbara obviously pales in comparison to her cousin, Tommy Hilfiger model Lauren Bush, and is a mere troll compared to her wildly successful relative Billy Bush, host of Grease: You're the One that I Want.

Prong 3 - Is there empirical evidence of said celebrity's attractiveness?

Barbara may be the decrepit hag of her family, there is powerful evidence suggesting that she may in fact be objectively goodlooking. First, she has an attractive boyfriend. Jay Blount, unlike his girlfriend, was listed among Yale's 50 Most Beautiful People. Second, Barbara's celebrity lookalike - Lauren Graham - plays the lead on Gilmore Girls, and as everybody knows, lead actresses cannot be ugly. Finally, Barbara interned at Proenza Schouler and anyone who hangs around with fashion jerks must be attractive.

Not surprisingly, the sightings sent into Gawker Stalker precisely match the results of this airtight study; Barbara Bush - 40% hideous, 60% gorgeous. One celebrity, divided. A nation, polarized.

Gawker Stalker

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