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It's difficult to imagine how anyone who experienced even a modicum of affection or encouragement in their youth could possibly want to become a Hollywood assistant, a vocation that marries the least gratifying job requirements of a telemarketer and animal control officer. Alas, the temptation to become a dry-cleaning-fetching cog in the machine proves irresistible to many, and some are willing to go so far as to pay for the opportunity: Canadian businessman Iaroslav Jivov alleges he paid Peter Bogdanovich $100,000 to hire his son as his assistant. He's now suing the director for accepting the money without living up to his end of the bargain, having not so much as thrown a single improperly prepared Starbucks latte into his son's face:

Businessman Iaroslav Jivov alleges that Bogdanovich, 67, and bis business manager, William Peiffer, agreed in 2005 to give Jivov's son Matt a job as Bogdanovich's assistant on the director's next film. According to a lawsuit filed by the Jivovs, in exchange for the $100,000, Bogdanovich, who was to "serve as mentor to Matt and train him for the assistant position and for future movie-making." [...]

The lawsuit charges that "as soon as the sum of $100,000 was wired to an account identified by Peiffer, the mentoring program between Bogdanovich and Matt would commence." However, the complaint contends, the assistant's job never materialized, with Peiffer claiming that script changes and financing problems were delaying production.

Regardless of how the suit plays out, the mere fact that it is now a matter of public record could prove to have dire consquences for the already undervalued word-leaving underclass, who toil ungodly hours for low salaries in the hopes that it may one day pay off in the form of a fulfilling career in the entertaining industry. Now, employers looking to squeeze a little more productivity out of their overworked underlings can always play the, "there's a line of people outside my door willing to pay me six figures to sit in that chair, so you're going to roll calls while I'm in Sanctuary this weekend if you know what's good for you" card.