Messy Paramounties Put On Notice During 'Uncleanliness Is Next To Joblessness' Month

Thumbing his or her nose at a Draconian tidiness initiative announced earlier today at Paramount, a Defamer operative sends along this memo declaring March Clean Up Your Fucking Mess, What, Were You Born In A Barn Or Something? Month over on the Melrose lot:

Subject: Office Clean-up From: XXXXXXX To: XXXXXXX

Dear All,

It is time for some spring cleaning. Although we understand there is limited storage space, it is very important that we create a professional and business like environment for our employees and outside guests. During the month of March, we ask that you do some serious cleaning. The stacks of boxes, disheveled papers and miscellaneous clutter should be placed into file cabinets, sent to storage and/or discarded. Please check with your department head before you trash any company materials or property.

If you need assistance storing away files, please contact the Records Center at XXXX and they can provide you with the necessary labels and instructions for storing file boxes. If you need additional boxes, you can order standard banker's boxes directly from Office Max. Once the boxes are ready to go, the Records Center will pick them up and send to Iron Mountain.

Our goal is to have the office clean-up no later than March 31.

Thank you for your cooperation with this effort,

XXXXXXXX

The consequences of noncompliance are never discussed, but at a place that may never fully recover from a paralyzing fear of layoffs, the terms "clean-up" and "spring cleaning" can't help but feel a little ominous. Come the first of April, there could be widespread paranoia that fastidious studio emperor Brad Grey himself might suddenly materialize at a messy staffer's workspace, run a white-gloved hand through some overlooked dust hidden beneath an improperly stored file folder, then wordlessly signal security to escort the messy ex-employee off the lot.