Crisis! SoHo! Balthazar Espresso Machine Down!S

ALERT! The Balthazar espresso machine fell silent early this morning. The chrome behemoth went into caffeine arrest at an unknown hour and, as yet, has not been revived. A white-apron clad McNallytron told us, "Some dude is supposed to come in and fix it later, I think." But that is little solace to the snaking line of regulars ordering cappuccinos only to be offered coffee, a moment of befuddled sadness flashing across their faces. Lockhart Steele, Balthazar habitu , when reached for comment, responded, "OMG." Across Crosby Street on Spring, Starbucks staff gleefully rubbed their hand together in a moment of unguarded, unbridled schadenfreude.