Hollywood PrivacyWatch Special Edition: Britney Spears And Victoria's Hostage Secret

A Defamer operative lucky to be alive following an encounter with tenuously sane and sober Promises escapee Britney Spears during her loose-toothed, Presbyterian pistol-whipping rampage through Los Angeles yesterday files this report about her harrowing forced imprisonment with the potentially dangerous pop-star menace:

I was locked inside Victoria's Secret (Beverly Drive location) with Britney Spears yesterday.
She spent $469, carries a blue Coach wallet, and bought a lot of bath products. She was wearing what my friend described as "a Kentucky Derby hat" and a black wig. My mom thought she was dressed like "an old lady."

Fortunately for all involved, Spears was able to complete her transaction without incident and all temporary hostages of the mass-market underthings retailer were eventually released without injury. There was, however, a tense moment in which her overprotective bodyguard placed the barrel of his handgun against a salesgirl's temple while he double-checked the accuracy of his fragile client's receipt, knowing that a single error could result in Spears succumbing to a panty-shredding meltdown that might attract the attention of the ubiquitous tabloid press.