Defamer Connections: Seeking '300' Craigslist-Trawling Spartan Tops

We at Defamer realize that the moviegoing experience can sometimes be so exhilarating that the mere act of watching passively without injecting oneself into the proceedings can feel frustrating and unfulfilling. What sets apart this audience member's response to the exposed manflesh orgy that is 300 isn't so much the fact that the film conjured up detailed multi-partner sexual scenarios, but that he was willing to take the proactive step of posting a Craigslist ad that might actually help him actualize his Spartan bukkake fantasies:

Gangbanged by 300 Spartans - 21 Reply to: pers-297111884@craigslist.org Date: 2007-03-20, 2:11AM PDT

Just saw 300 and had a hardon all through movie...wanted to be gang raped by those fucking hot warriors...want to take Gerard Butlers load on my face first...any one want to help me maje this fantasy a reality? hit me up...

Gentlemen: (sorry, ladies, your services are currently not required, though we may need to cut back to you every 30 minutes as you fend off the rear-entry advances of a traitorous Spartan councilman) we ask that you not force our action-hungry recruit to wait all the way until the West Hollywood Halloween parade to put his double-stuffed Spartan-servicing skills to practical use. We implore you to answer the call to glory-hole now by responding to his request—and yes, hunchback turncoats, there's even space at the gang-rape table for you!