Grading Keach Hagey: Press, Clipped

While grading Keach Hagey's Village Voice Press Clips column each week hasn't gotten any easier, at least now it takes less time. From a first column of 1,306 words, Keach's output was reduced to 899 in her second installment. The third column came in at an economical 495, and last week saw a nearly-identical count of 525 words. This week yields the lowest number yet, with a slim and trim 473 words. We had Balk, who has been bitching about this feature since its inception, parse all 473.

Balk no like read Keach Hagey no more. Balk like write about Keach Hagey even less.

Rating: There's not a lot to say about something that's under 500 words, especially if it concerns the Post's ongoing hemorrhage of Murdoch money. Drop us a line when you're back at full-length column status. Points on the Gimbels reference though: Clearly, you know your New York history.

[Ed. Note: Keach, get over here and apologize for breaking Balk! Now he's not happy when there's too many words, and not happy when there's too few. 500ml of alcohol, stat! Since he has been rendered useless, let's just add this: The point that the subscription price of the Post has plummeted so is an excellent one. A small point for Keach! And yes: the Post will happily do anything to put the Daily News out of business. We feel pretty much the same way about Cute Overload. We will crush them like a baby kitten's skull! God, am I still typing? Or did I black out a while ago? Damn. Balk was right all along.]

Five Cents a Right-Wing Dance [VV]
Previously: Grading Keach Hagey: How Has It Only Been Four Weeks?