This image was lost some time after publication.

Proving once again that the current generation of celebrity drug abusers are nothing but a bunch of dilettante stall-monkeys, first-ballot Rock N' Roll Addict Hall of Famer Keith Richards has admitted to taking his father's tantalizing ashes, "grinding him up with a little bit of blow," and snorting the old man into whatever special part of Heaven is reserved for those whose offspring cheerily desecrate their parents' earthly remains. Things, of course, could always have been worse, as a particularly debauched night easily could have resulted in Richards cooking up his father in a spoon and injecting him between his outstretched toes, a fate even less glamorous than the one he actually suffered.

UPDATE: "He was just joking! What a kidder!" says scrambling manager.