Salary Report Shocker: Celebrities Earn Much More Than You!

Parade, which most recently made headlines for lulling Halle Berry into a trusting place, then drawing her ire by printing her account of a suicide attempt that she had not intended to trot out again until at least something on the level of a Vanity Fair cover story came around, is once again snapping at the celebrity hands that feed its content. A press release in our inbox touts a preview of their annual "'What People Earn' salary report," which would more accurately be described as the, "'Take A Good Look At The Rat Droppings You Call A Wage Compared To Those Of Your Much More Famous Counterparts' report."

Actor Kiefer Sutherland made $23 million for playing government agent Jack Bauer on his hit show 24, while police officer Kevin Weaver, 40, of Concord, N.C., earned $64,000 last year. Actress Ellen Pompeo, 37, who plays Dr. Meredith Grey on Grey's Anatomy, earned $5 million last year, while medical resident Jennifer Beller, 26, of Palmyra, Va., took in $45,000. Registered nurse, Toby Acosta, 28, from Birmingham, Ala., earned $76,000.
Meryl Streep, who played a merciless magazine editrix in The Devil Wears Prada, brought home a tidy $8 million in 2006. Real life magazine editor Roberta Pacht, 32, of New York, N.Y., made $55,000. Actor Steve Carell, who plays insufferable office manger Michael Scott on The Office, earned $9 million, and real-life office manager Patricia Reichard, 55, from Naples, Fla., brought home a mere $29,000. Similarly, chef and TV host Rachael Ray made $6 million last year, while Tyler Mitchell, 55, a personal chef from Albuquerque, N.M., earned $67,000.

While the dismal salaries of America's working class are discouraging when juxtaposed against obscene celebrities earnings, we'd caution to wait just a few weeks for the release of Parade's annual playing-field-leveling "How People Feel" report, when you'll be comforted to learn that Kurt Sanderson, a professional birthday clown and balloon-animal craftsman from Galesburg, Il., registers overall satisfaction numbers in the high ten digits, compared to an anemic total of 27 in the same category for celebrity counterpart Jim Carrey.