Lies Well Disguised: Donny Deutsch's Makeover

94 years ago, liar H.K. McCann launched his NYC ad agency with the slogan "Truth Well Told." That was a big fat lie. Advertising copywriter Copyranter brings you instances of advertising lies and the lying liars who sell them.

This week, AdAge got adman Donny Deutsch to present his "Big Idea" about the Don Imus imbroglio. Double D says it's a "moment in time—the end of an era." Our country "is ready and begging to be a less hateful land. Jerkiness, snarkiness, screaming, yelling and taunting are tired and old." Deutsch then highlights some of his own jerky snarky past. But! He leaves out at least a couple of noteworthy instances.

First, he uses his column to apologize to Bill O"Reilly for some "horrible names" he called him (including the "Antichrist") in an interview a few years ago. "Who was I to say jerky things about this guy I didn't even know?" Shit, maybe he's right. Mr. Garfield... I, ah fuck it.

Donny also reminds us of the time he ripped his shirt off in during an interview with AdAge. What he doesn't remind us of is what he said as he was making like an incredibly boorish Incredible Hulk: "I can kick the ass of any CEO in advertising."

Lastly, he says he could "fill this page with the jerky—not hateful, but jerky—things I've done or said." He sure could. And maybe the rest of the pages.

You fired art director Jeison Rodriguez, who had worked for you for ten long years, just because he playfully circulated a rather hot pic of you in a Speedo. I think that not only deserves an apology, but also an appearance on your CNBC show.

When you interviewed Bill Gates, you not only asked him how much money he had in his wallet, you also asked him "What's on your iPod?"

After that many years screaming and ranting, is an image makeover (motivated by such a wee crisis of conscience) this shallow really going to pretty up your reputation?

Donny, before you can move on and flourish guilt-free in this exciting new era of nice, I think you need to visit David Ogilvy's grave, rip your shirt off, drop to your knees, and just let it all out, bad boy.

Previously: Your Agency Name Here