In general, real estate listings traffic in the hyperbolic. Views aren't nice or tolerable, they're spectacular and expansive. A neighborhood isn't simply a nice place to live but the most exclusive, the hottest, or the most peaceful. But rarely does shilling of real estate agents become transcendent. And when it does, as it does in this LOHO listing, the opportunity shouldn't be missed to celebrate the poetry in the pedestrian, the arias of areas and the doggerel of realtors.

Flocks of sweet sounding birds abide in the tallest branches of the trees just outside the living room. As they swoop and dive, flutter and hop twig to twig they harmonize nature's soul songs for your listening pleasure. Who is their conductor—the robin, the starling, the finch? And with the afternoon sunshine streaming in on broad beams of light it's impossible not to be cheered and to cheer—hurray for this apartment! The wonderfully large bedroom has two closets and two exposures with old New York views of East Broadway. From the balcony Brooklyn fills the sky with its own curious and wondrous landmarks. Soon you too will be living in an open, tree-filled aviary in your own cushioned, well-feathered nest.

How could we not choose to struggle to cram the listing into a villanelle and thus justify our liberal arts education?

Villanelle
Seward Park Apt. 115,200 square inches
One bedroom, two closets, a symphony of birds
Who is their conductor—the robin, the starling. Perhaps the finch is?

Bagels for breakfast, for lunch perhaps Blintzes
Nice exposure, a lobby, too good for words?
Seward Park Apt. 115,200 square inches

Birdsong Sonatas, Partitas, Cantatas, a trove full of riches
Who writes these listings for the apartments in Sewards?
Who is their conductor—the robin, the starling. Perhaps the finch is?

Hurray for this apartment! A dream house is what this is
500k, chew on that you real estate nerds!
Seward Park Apt. 115,200 square inches

Flocks of sweet sounding birds abide in the tallest branches
Watch out for their tear-like turds.
Who is their conductor—the robin, the starling. Perhaps the finch is?

The deal's about to close, the belt itself cinches
Pray to your Allah, your Hashem, all your lords
Seward Park Apt. 115,200 square inches
Who is their conductor—the robin, the starling. Perhaps the finch is?

Free Verse-ish
Flocks of sweet sounding birds abide
in the tallest branches of the trees just outside
the living room.

As they swoop and dive,
flutter and hop twig to twig
they harmonize

Who is their conductor—the robin, the starling, the finch?

And with the afternoon sunshine streaming in
on broad beams of light it's impossible not to be cheered and to cheer
—hurray for this apartment!

New York views of East Broadway from the balcony
Soon you too will be living in an open, tree-filled aviary
in your own well-feathered nest. —josh

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