Blue States Lose: Hipster Flair

In this week's stroll down Douchebag Alley, Alex Blagg stops in at Last Night's Party, The Cobrasnake, and Misshapes. Do come with, unless you're afraid of clowns. Get on your walking shoes, kids, it's Blue States Lose!

10.Misshapes. April 14th, 2007 photo #097: How many pieces of hipster flair does it take to get to the center of a boring suburban princess trying to reinvent herself as a big city artsy chick so she can fit in with the hipster retards she's been reading so much about on the Internet these past few years? Two.

9.The Cobrasnake. Sidekick World ID photo #6313: I think it's adorable how The Other Guy, clearly tired of being ignored, is now trying to re-brand himself as The One With Crimson Hair. He's like our teenage middle child.

8. The Cobrasnake. Sidekick World ID photo #6520: Nice Louis Vuitton guitar, guyliner and fur collar you fucking dork. You look like a tranny on a budget.

7. Last Night's Party. Bronques' new single: The Last Night's Party guy is really something of a renaissance man. Not only can he take pictures of retarded drunk girls rolling around on bathroom floors while licking their tits, he's also a recording artist who has crafted the penultimate disco-rave anthem to blast loudly while tweaking out on meth and contemplating whether or not a murder-suicide for you and your gay lover is actually a very good idea.

6. The Cobrasnake. Sidekick World ID photo #6587: Dear, I know you're trying to be "punk rock" and all, but if we really did that, you'd never be able to find out what happens next season on The Hills.

5. The Cobrasnake. Sidekick World ID photo #6486: This is why I don't shop at hipster stores. I'm secretly worried that each time I turn down a new aisle of ridiculous neon clothing, this guy's going to jump out from nowhere and scare the bejeezus out of me.

4. Last Night's Party. I, America photo #17: She's been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

3. Last Night's Party. Poutine photo #5330: They may not look like much, but if you get on the bad side of Sparklemotion and the Royal Court of Snazzmatazz, you just might find yourself dead in a shallow, glittery grave.

2. Last Night's Party. Poutine photo #5386: Conceptually, the Crazy Ex-girlfriend Scary Clown seems like a pretty good idea for a party costume. Though all the pants that will be pooped in sheer terror just aren't very practical.

1. Misshapes. April 14th, 2007 photo #052: So there were about 400 libido-crushing pictures of this horrorshow in various states of grotesque undress that will haunt my dreams for days to come, so I'm just going to pick one, present it for your consideration, and try to forget this ever happened.

Previously: Douchey Warbucks' Space