"Live With A Douche" is a Gawker PSA service rounding up the most deleteriously douchy apartment postings we can find. Surely we respect the universal right to demand a roommate who conforms to one's higgidypiggidy expectations—but some warrant special attention. Have you found a particularly ridiculous listing? Let us know at tips@gawker.com

Looking for a bit of perspective on what conditions might be like in Gitmo? Feeling removed from the deprivations of the clink? Are you a firm believer in "stink ass"? Do you hate food? Do you prefer your rooms without windows? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this $900 bedroom in Chelsea is all for you!

Small BR with hardwood floors, high ceiling, no windows, elevator building, shared kitchen, dining area, and no living room.

the place is spotless and bug free. I keep the doors and windows closed at all times so bugs can't get inside. the furniture is new and you must keep it that way. you will need to sit on a cushion or a piece of cardboard. you cannot sit directly on the furniture.

i am a firm believer in "stink ass" which is basically the ability of bad smells to transfer onto other objects. the smell can soak into furniture and make it smell even after someone gets up.

you cannot bring food into your room because sometimes ants will get it.

Not mentioned: daily force-feeding, degradation of the Qu'ran and waterboarding.

$900 Need a Clean Roomie (Chelsea)