Sex Diary: The Gawker Editor
Female, 25, Straight and in a LTR
7ish: Woke up. Ah, springtime! Seems like today might be sort of halfway decent. I have a healthy human desire to sometimes have sex!
7:30: Begin reading New York's Sex and Love issue. I'm traumatized already and I have only looked at the 'What Are You Like In Bed' slideshow. Mitchell, 50 (pictured) enjoyed his best-ever sexual experience while wearing a sombrero and poncho, exploring a "Mexican theme." Ok, it's going to be like that.
7:35: The sex diary of a "sexually frustrated dad" is bumming me out. "Get a nice flash of tits before my wife goes into bathroom." Tragic! "To be blunt, we have oral sex, both of us..." Confusing locution! Do they usually have oral sex separately? Shades of Shortbus. More tragic: "Ask if she wants to fool around. Can't. She got her period this afternoon." Uh... grow up?
7:40: More sex diary sadnosity from "the West Village cruiser," who is "male, 38, magazine editor, West Village, single and gay." "If i don't know this 'magazine editor' then my name's not Lady McKnow's A Lot," says Choire. I did not actually know that this was Choire's real name. At least it's easier to figure out how to pronounce.
7:45: Heh. There is something very odd about this porn star MILF's son's giant rocket fridge art, no?
8:00: Katie Roiphe is getting a divorce, but she's okay! Really, she's fine. She doesn't understand why people are worried about her! The article goes on for four more pages.
8:30: Oh, this 'mind of a married man' is just as disheartening as you'd expect. "There are so many things that you don't know at the outset. One for me was that when you say "forever," that means, like, you'll never fuck another woman again. Now, I know that seems obvious, but that really is intense." The most enthusiastically committed dude is the gay one. "I didn't really fully appreciate everything until I was married for a good chunk of time, but now I'm more jazzed than I was before." When did people start saying "jazzed" again so much, and could they please stop?
8:45: Back to the sex diaries, revisiting the MILF theme. "Matt falls asleep stroking my breasts while we are watching a boring indie film."
8:46: Oops, I just noticed that my vagina has shriveled up and fallen out of my body. Thanks, New York magazine!