Britney Spears Reportedly Spotted Drinking Gateway Booze

Following in the wobbly footsteps of fellow misdiagnosed celebrity rehab survivor Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears has reportedly been taking the necessary steps towards reclaiming the lifestyle she enjoyed before her widely publicized Dark Angel episode landed her a month inside a coastal no-fun facility. Step one: Emancipate oneself from all patriarchal tyranny. Step two: Hire the world's leading expert at crafting statements that artfully ignore the 800-pound gorilla on your back. Step three: Ease your way back in with softer alcohol:

The singer "tossed back glasses of wine" at a friend's Beverly Hills condo with her cousin Alli Sims on April 14, according to the mag, which reports that the two were later spotted at the hotspot Parc, where she had more wine. The next day, she went to the Japanese restaurant Shu Sushi, where she allegedly drank sake, reports In Touch.
"Brit feels like she can have a few drinks," a "friend" tells the mag. "She feels like as long as she's having fun and not hurting anyone, she doesn't need rehab."

Assuming the story is true—and, really, In Touch's unimpeachable track record on such anonymously sourced matters gives us little reason to believe otherwise—we'd caution not to too harshly judge the recent Promises graduate's libationary choices. To our knowledge, nowhere in any post-rehab maintenance manual does it forbid you from indulging from a little sake with your seared toro platter at Nobu, although opting to spend the dessert course inside one of their bathroom stalls with a half-dozen of your closest enablers is a definite no-no.