Yes, today's only Saturday, but it's never too early to solidify plans for the big Chris Matthews-emceed MSNBC Republican debate Thursday night. So where be the hot parties? Regrettably, and each offer but the most skeletal of old-folk social-networking functions — which is why it always makes sense to pull for the frontrunner and/or fascist!

Indeed, the elves over at have installed a little gadget called Rudy Watch Party, whereby one can "create" and "manage" shindigs dedicated to Dear Leader's TV appearances, starting with this week's debate. But might the entirely public, no-registration-necessary information contained therewith be a bit, well, dangerous if viewed by the wrong, swarthy eyes? I, for example, now know that at 8:00 PM on May 3, 20 Giuliani supporters will be gathered at 65 Ward Place in South Orange, NJ. Go ahead; RSVP yourself...

And it's not just Jim McCabe's place in Jersey either. Rob Hewitt of Richfield, MN will be hosting 14 (and counting!) Rudyites Thursday, not to mention the "CC TeamRudy" event at 2650 S. Decatur Street in Las Vegas. All in all, some 250 MSNBC Rudy Watches, each in a fully disclosed location, have already been filed on the site — and the whole lot is entirely searchable by ZIP code, with friendly Google Maps directions attached. Not to belabor the point, but this is the Homeland Security Candidate? Surely, our Present Grave Orange Alert Level must come with some directive against the public disclosure of Republican house party FAQs! In other words, this is quite likely all just a clever ruse to ensnarl the evildoers.

How else to explain the fact that, when one searches for Watch Parties within 25 miles of the ZIP code 10001, up pops just one event in Manhattan and none in Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, or The Bronx? Such results are highly suspect, of course, because Rudy Giuliani was the widely beloved mayor of New York City, the man who made people stop robbing things and windows stop breaking, and also individually put band-aids on every firefighter. In fact, maybe we should ignore the potentiality of entrapment, and show our love for the man by spending our collective Thursday night at that one lone Rudy-watching soirée in Manhattan, to be hosted by a guy named Sergio Carrasco.

Then again, perhaps the truly responsible course of action would be to spend the weekend creating countless new New York-based debate parties, until Rudy himself comes to realize just what a god among mortals he really is. Or, you know, 'til his website breaks.

Rudy Watch Party []