As a hazard attending to the job we do, we pretty much consume almost all media going, and we've yet to see any kind of etiquette guide regarding the forthcoming visit of Britain's Elizabeth "Queen" Windsor to these shores. But according to the Daily Mail our papers have been chockablock with tips for how we should behave in the off chance that we somehow encounter that little island's monarch. While helpfully noting that "Indians and black people are included in all of the ceremonies she will attend," the article doesn't do much in the way of providing useful advice as to how one should handle oneself in the presence of royalty. So here's our suggestion if you've somehow breached the security cordon: Say hello, ask her how her kids are, and get the hell out of there. This is America, we barely give a shit about the President. No need to be embarrassed about some old queen.