Lindsay Lohan's Oscar Dreams Frustrated By Media's Obsession With Where She Parties Until 6 AM

We've long felt that the only thing standing between extravagantly talented actress and criminally mislabeled "party girl" Lindsay Lohan and a record-setting string of Oscar wins is the ongoing and coordinated efforts of the tabloid media to destroy her once-unimpeachable artistic credibility; for example, had the press not developed an untoward fixation with the sudden shrinkage and then re-bazooming of her her breasts, her subtle work in Herbie: Fully Loaded almost certainly would have received the awards attention it deserved. Lohan confirms our theory about the media's frustrating interference with her professional development:

"The thing about the press and why they need to leave me the [bleep] alone for a little bit is because I don't want that distraction from my work," she told the mag. "
"I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being 'the party girl.' I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I'm filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance.

As her searching and fearless moral inventory recently revealed, Lohan determined to her satisfaction that she doesn't have a substance abuse problem, she has something far more destructive to her career: a media-covering-her-nonstop-partying problem. And with no proven outpatient recovery program to cure her of being utterly fascinating to the tabloids, her Oscar dreams may continue to remain elusive, no matter how hard she busts her [bleep] on the days she remembers to show up to the set.