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CONFONZ — Time was, we used-ta-could out homosexuals on the front page of the tabloids. Time was, revealing people's short comings in public was a lucrative business. Time was, fat bastards could be eviscerated in public without care or thought paid to their feelings and constitutions. Times change. Thus, the ConFonz presents his quick bullet points of notable Valley residents and the gossip surrounding them. Ah, bullet points: when you just don't care enough to write up a full entry. After the jump, some silly gossip.

  • Last weekend's Re-Make event in Berekley was, on the outside, a complete success. But as it turns out, the 24-hour event was evidently vacant when the sun rose on 4-29 (NEVER FORGET!) According to the ConFonz's reliable servants, the bloated fat man in charge of the event threw a temper tantrum around 9 AM and threw everyone out. That means the event was, technically, only 21 hours long.
  • Blind Item Cafe Press does a great job of filling closets with home-grown T-shirts and tchochkees with pictures of your kids printed on them. But it would seem that one of the company's sales and marketing executives is also in the closet. Sure, outing the gays isn't a lofty journalistic accomplishment, but rumor has it that this female blogger is denying the fact up and down the block, despite her extremely manish exterior. Come on, madam, this is the Bay Area. No one will think less of you for being a lesbian. In fact, most locals will think more of you!
  • Novell is still doomed.
  • Make Magazine may be a successful publication, and everyone may still be going to Maker Faire this year, but the O'Reilly's darling child still doesn't have any kind of budget. The magazine, evidently, practices what it preaches, and builds promotional materials out of things salvaged from dumpsters.