Given the way our email blew up while we were having our after-work cocktail, either cancer got cured, Times Square got bombed, or Paris Hilton, the bicoastal conceptual performance genius, got herself sent to jail. Oh, too bad—it's the latter. This is a matter so thrilling that TMZ busted out their copy of Photoshop 5. Poor Paris. What crisis publicist will take her now?

Paris Hilton Gets 45 Days In Jail; Hollywood To Burn [Defamer]