Turns out all that time Times reporter Jenny 8. Lee wasted chasing Neveah could have been better spent on name-trends closer to home. In today's NYT Real Estate section, the 'Habitats' feature is about a Williamsburg artist couple living loft-life with a new baby. Yawn all you like, then read the lede:

AS Lila del Corte Hirschfeld was about to turn 1, her mother was feeling slightly frantic. Like many New York parents, Jenny 8 del Corte Hirschfeld (the numeral is her middle name) had a vision for her daughter's birthday party, though hers was more Dalí than Disney.

The numeral is her middle name?! Quite likely the least illuminating parenthetical ever. It gets stranger. What, pray tell, are del Corte Hirschfeld and baby-daddy Misha Leiner known for? You guessed it:

[I]t is not surprising that the couple are renowned for their parties.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.Unfortunately, looking to the rest of Celia Barbour's story for explicating clues is like trying to figure out Lost by watching it. Here's all we know:

Their annual Easter party, which they have been giving for eight years, has attained near-legendary status.... The highlight of the party is not Ms. del Corte Hirschfeld's cooking nor even the wine. It is the decorated-egg contest. Recent entries have included "Cald-egg," a delicate mobile made by Mr. Leiner that now hangs over Lila's crib, and a sendup of "MacBeth," in which birch-bark-wrapped eggs were moved across a board using magnets, after the scene in which Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane...

The only thing missing from their parties are their friends from abroad — Basel, Berlin, Paris, Mexico City. "I have a lot of friends who don't want to visit the States anymore," Ms. del Corte Hirschfeld said.

"You queue for three hours only to be treated really unfriendly by customs and get fingerprinted."

Surely, taking the party to them must have crossed 82's mind, right? The Ocho we know and love better start fighting back soon, because this don't look pretty:

Ms. del Corte Hirschfeld and Mr. Leiner are artists in the broadest sense of the word, bringing creative energy, humor and intelligence to even the most mundane aspects of their lives. So you might think they would be delighted to live in ultra-hip Williamsburg, Brooklyn. But they are not.

They can take your name, Jenny 8, but never let them take Manhattan. Never.

Putting the 'Avant' in Avant-Garde [NYT]

Apparently Time Out New York anticipated the Times's irrational integer problem way back in 2005. But be careful: This screen shot suggests that TONY is in on the Conspiracy of 8.