"Women in big fancy hats and low cut blouses exposing large, low hanging breasts abounded in every direction" at the Kentucky Derby, which Spencer Morgan attended in order to bring us news of the fauxlebrities who partied there on Saturday, bless his heart. One of those fancy-hatted ladies was Star Jones, who was "clad in a black mini-skirt" and "was getting freaky with her husband Al Reynolds, as Adam "DJ AM" Goldberg burned up the turntables."

Mr. Reynolds was gyrating up against Mrs. Jones' backside, his hand positioned oddly on top of her head, while hers clutched the back of his thigh.

Is there a Purple Heart for gossip reporting, or a Pulitzer or something?

And They're Off! [NYO]