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Upon reading that movie-star-of-the-internet-people Bruce Willis had virtually kneecapped Armageddon director Michael Bay ("Bay...Would have ruined DH4. Few people will work with him now, and I know I will never work with him again.") while communing with his fans on the AICN message boards, we had a feeling it wouldn't be long before Bay used his own online forum to retaliate against his mouthy ex-collaborator. With an emotional mixture of hurt, disbelief, and defiance far more complex than any moment in one of his movies, a wounded Bay responds:

Hard to believe it really is Bruce saying that stuff on AICN. I loved working with Bruce. He gave me a big hug one month ago at the GM party and we talked for 20 minutes. We even talked about working together again! I mean it would be sad if he felt this way - he's never one to hide his feelings - I say sad, in that he wouldn't be man enough to say it to my face. But truly sad that such a big time actor would have to hide on a little talk back section. So I really don't believe this story.

I find it also totally odd that my agents at William Morris got the call from Bruce's people to inquire if I would like to helm Die Hard 4, but I was already on Transformers.


Bay's accusations that Willis is nothing more than a "Hollywood friend" ("Mikey Boy! Great to see you! You been working out? Have your guy call my guy and let's do another project! I mean it! Hey, is that the crab cake tray over there? Gotta run!") and that his "people" invited the fauxteur to ruin Beedub's comeback vehicle momentarily give him the edge in their web-enabled spat. Of course, the dick-measuring contest won't truly end until July, after Live Free or Die Hard and The Transformers have both had their opening weekends, when the public will be able to see which online shit-talker's packing more box office inches.