It's time for another excerpt from Don't Hassel the Hoff (St. Martin's Press, May 15), the autobiography of one of the world's most loved entertainers. In this installment, the Hoff hits on Heather Mills for some completely inexplicable reason.

After a few performances [of Jekyll and Hyde], I got together with Frank Wildhorn, and found him supportive and gracious. He gave me his feedback and made several helpful suggestions. I found that the part of Hyde was easy, compared with trying to find my way into Jekyll. It was interesting to note that after each show the girls wanted to meet Hyde. There was a definite sexual attraction to him—they loved his long wild hair and his evil nature.

I was getting lonely, so Pam and my daughters unselfishly moved to New York to be with me, for which I will always be grateful. After dropping the girls off at their school each morning, I would go jogging in Central Park. We bought a new wiener puppy, Sir Henry von Hasselhoff. I took him back to the pet store to get his shots. Paul McCartney and his then girlfriend Heather Mills were having coffee in a sidewalk cafe. Paul called me over.

"Just so you know," he said, "she was looking at the dog."

"Just so you know," I said, "I was looking at her."

Previously: Joel Stein Drove The Hoff To Drink!