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Crushing disappointment alert, Alpha Kitties: Atoosa Rubenstein may want to help you, but she's not about to actually, like, help you.

Last night one of our Alpha Kitty sisters messaged me saying she wants to launch a television network (with a specific angle) and asked me to put her in touch with any television execs I know who can turn her dream into reality. My advice to her was probably not what she expected: I told her to research, intern and learn so she can blaze her own unique path with her own unique footsteps. I would not be introducing her to any television execs.

Way harsh! Why won't you give a sister a leg up, 'Toos?

The answer takes us on another trek down memory lane, not to high school on Long Island this time (odd!) but to the early days of CosmoGIRL!, when then-Glamour editor Glenda Bailey was a bitch to the 'Toos. Apparently, Atoosa had asked Glenda to give up a Glamour trade secret and Glenda was just like "no."

She recalls: "At first? I nearly cried (major lump in my throat). I was so embarrassed. Then? I was really angry. I thought it was so mean of her— after all, I was just a kid and it's not like my magazine was competitive to hers. But today? I realize she did me a favor." Lesson learned: if you want to get all the way to where the 'Toos is now, you'll just have to figure out your own way there.

You're An Alpha Kitty, Figure It Out [ToosSpace]