ABC Betting On Cavemen, Horny Doctors

With ABC having already spoiled Upfront Christmas by unwrapping its much-anticipated pick-up of Cavemen&trade, A Race Parable Brought To You By Geico a few days early, giving the disgruntled, recently canceled stars of its comedy past an opportunity to decry the network's pro-Neanderthal prejudices, the actual announcement of its Fall schedule was bound to underwhelm. They've installed Private Practice, the horny-doctors-in-Santa-Monica supplement ("I am going to kiss you. With tongue. Later, I am going to sex you. With penis.") to their horny-doctors-in-Seattle Nielsen juggernaut, at 9 p.m. on Wednesday night to anchor a block of all-new dramas, allowing the brain-deadening buzz derived from ogling the goodies of various hyperverbal, McAttractive physicians to linger for two consecutive evenings.

On the comedy side, president Steve McPherson's vaunted "Greenlight 'em all and let God sort 'em out" development strategy has yielded the aforementioned Cavemen, Carpoolers (guys carpooling to work), Sam I Am (Christina Applegate bonked on the head, loses memory, learns she's a bitch), Miss/Guided (guidance counselor goes back to her high school; edgy forward-slash courtesy of Nip/Tuck), and in midseason, Cashmere Mafia (think Sex and the City meets Sex and the City). Also: Did you hear Cavemen is on the schedule? It totally is!

The full Fall schedule follows [via THR, new shows in CAPS]

MONDAY
8-9:30 p.m.: "Dancing with the Stars"
9:30-10 p.m.: "SAM I AM"
10-11 p.m.: "The Bachelor"

TUESDAY
8-8:30 p.m.: "CAVEMEN"
8:30-9 p.m.: "CARPOOLERS"
9-10 p.m.: "Dancing With the Stars" (results show)
10-11 p.m.: "Boston Legal"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m.: "PUSHING DAISES"
9-10 p.m.: "PRIVATE PRACTICE"
10-11 p.m.: "DIRTY SEXY MONEY"

THURSDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Ugly Betty"
9-10 p.m.: "Grey's Anatomy"
10-11 p.m.: "BIG SHOTS"

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m.: "Men in Trees"
9-10 p.m.: "WOMEN'S MURDER CLUB"
10-11 p.m.: "20/20"

SATURDAY
8-11 p.m.: "Saturday Night College Football"

SUNDAY
7-8 p.m.: "America's Funniest Home Videos"
8-9 p.m.: "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"
9-10 p.m.: "Desperate Housewives"
10-11 p.m.: "Brothers & Sisters"