CBS Puts Vampires, Swingers, Exciting Social Experiments Involving Schoolchildren On The Fall Schedule

By this third morning of the upfronts, you are probably exhausted by the constant barrage of stories about new television shows you probably won't have the time or desire to watch. (NBC really nailed it: Who has time for new? Give us more of what we already like! Fill us up with your quality, Peacock!) Still, CBS will take its turn before their advertisers today, unveiling a schedule aimed at convincing the money people that their network is ready to move beyond just mindless sitcoms and syndication-friendly procedural dramas and take a (well-calculated, not too scary) risk or two: that's right, the Eye is going (mildly) edgy! On the Fall schedule:

· Cane: Jimmy Smits! Playing Cuban!
· Moonlight: Vampires!
· Swingtown: Wife-swapping in the 70s! (Read: sex!)
· Viva Laughlin: A casino! Hugh Jackman cameos! The occasional musical number!

As pulse-quickening as we find both swingers and Hugh Jackman, the highlight of the new Fall slate is clearly Wednesday night's Kid Nation (from the producers of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition), a supersecret project that CBS will unleash on the world later today, in which (according to TV Week) 40 "overachieving kids" of ages 8 to 15 are thrown together in a New Mexico ghost town and tasked with creating a functioning society with an economy, laws, and elected leaders. Finally: Lord of the Flies comes to primetime! We can't wait to hear about advertisers' reactions to this afternoon's upfront clip of the inevitable breakout hit, spotlighting the emotionally devastating moment when Piggy is "accidentally" crushed by a boulder. Never let it be said that Les Moonves doesn't know how to create appointment TV.

The entire Fall schedule follows: [via THR]

Mondays
8 pm - "How I Met Your Mother"
8:30 p.m. - "The Big Bang Theory" (new)
9 p.m. - "Two and a Half Men"
9:30 p.m. - "Rules of Engagement"
10 p.m. - "CSI: Miami"

Tuesdays
8 p.m. - "NCIS"
9 p.m. - "The Unit"
10 p.m. - "Cane" (new)

Wednesdays
8 p.m. - "Kid Nation" (new)
9 p.m. - "Criminal Minds"
10 p.m. - "CSI: NY"

Thursdays
8 p.m. - "Survivor: China"
9 p.m. - "CSI"
10 p.m. - "Without a Trace"

Fridays
8 p.m. - "Ghost Whisperer"
9 p.m. - "Moonlight" (new)
10 p.m. - "Numb3rs"

Saturdays
8 p.m. - "Crimetime Saturday"
9 p.m. - "Crimetime Saturday"
10 p.m. - "48 Hours Mystery"

Sundays
7 p.m. - "60 Minutes"
8 p.m. - "Viva Laughlin" (new)
9 p.m. - "Cold Case"
10 p.m. - "Shark"