This Week In Gawker Redundancies

Some week, huh? In between all the folks talking about how callous we are toward injured children (uh, you've seen the t-shirt, right?) and questioning our commitment to making Gawker a safe space for womyn, there were plenty of options to choose from in the redundancy department. Unfortunately, we were pressed for time, so we just picked five folks at random. Let's give a final embrace to them together!

Made Redundant: Rufus
Crime: Channeling that Borscht Belt sensibility way too accurately, unfunnily.

Made Redundant: SuperLex1000
Crime: Casting aspersions on our mother's parental abilities.

Made Redundant: that one guy
Crime: Wishing childbirth upon us.

Made Redundant: Sigerson Holmes
Crime: This redundancy was actually forced on us by the Ad Sales Department. Sorry, dude.

Made Redundant: Jew
Crime: Nothing, really, we're just feeling kinda anti-Semitic today.

Redundancies are just that: An HR-approved way to get rid of you while deflecting all blame and making you feel doubly victimized. It's not you—it's just that we don't need you any more. Y'all may check the Gawker Comments FAQ. It is also true that banned commenters may return through our invitation. The best way to receive such is to send us cookies (peanut butter, please, and not personalized) or charming and juicy gossip-filled emails.