Sexy Brangelina Threesome Total Lies REVEALED!

So Janice Min is busily rebranding Us Weekly as free of the cover story bait'n'switch tactics of other magazines. And on the one hand that's ridic, but on the other hand, sometimes she really has a point. "Brad and Angelina Threesome... SEXY ROMP with Victoria's Secret Model—The truth!" screams this week's Star cover. Let us save you $3.49 and a precious, un-get-backable five minutes of your life by revealing "the truth," per the article inside.

Doesn't it sound hot and/or absurd?

"Seriously sexy Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova was the filling in a Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie cannoli, according to a scandalous new report.
But wait!
At a recent clothing fitting, Karolina [Kurkova] was reportedly "giddy, like a schoolgirl" when talking about her supposedly torrid time with Brad and Angie, a fashion insider claims in Australia's New Idea magazine. However, the claims stand in stark opposition to what really happened: that such a threesome never occurred and that Karolina says she never even met the couple.
The rest of the article is about how even if a threesome didn't happen, it so totally could have, or still might at some point in the future! Fuck this noise. I am actually switching to In Touch .