We just received a copy of the anthology Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys: True Tales of Love, Lust, and Friendship Between Straight Women and Gay Men, which is pretty much what you'd expect. We were thumbing through the contents, wondering about what its contributors might have to offer (Does Ayelet Waldman love her fag more than her kids?) when we noticed an essay by Gawker founding editor and current layabout Elizabeth Spiers! Who was the gay who showed her the way? It's someone we all know and fear here at the office.
When I moved to New York after graduation, I worked for a few years in finance, almost exclusively with men, all of whom were, as far as I could tell, exclusively straight. Then I met a guy named Nick Denton, who became a close friend. Nick was gay, but I didn't realize it until the second or third time we met. To be fair, I'm not the only one to make that mistake, though certain of our friends insist that it was obvious— obvious!—from the beginning.
Nick and I started a website called Gawker.com in late 2002 and it quickly became an extremely popular media gossip blog. As the site's profile grew, there was bit of speculation online that Nick and I were a couple. And as amusing as that was, I had to admit that on some days it felt like it. I was certainly spending more time with Nick than I was with anyone I was dating and we were in each other's space constantly. It was a stimulating (ah, the conversations!) and sometimes tumultuous (oh, the arguments!) relationship and has stayed that way in one form or another since then. We've fought and made up a million times, both publicly and privately, and the third-party commentary is always the same: God, you two have such a bizarre relationship. And they're right: We do. And though I'd never admit it when we're fighting, my life would probably be far less interesting without it.
We want to assure those who might point out this kind of behavior as an example of the negative behavior of homos everywhere that, in this one case, it has nothing to do with sexuality: Nick's just mean.