We are currently sitting around on our rapidly-expanding asses waiting for Alex Blagg to finish up his weekly hipster mockery so we can get the hell out of here. We're not going to bother checking to see if the links work or even read the thing, but you can assume it's a bunch of party pictures from Misshapes, The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, and possibly Ambrel. Who knows? By the time you read this, we'll be well into our third bourbon at Shark Bar. Anyway, what were we saying? Oh yeah, it's Blue States Lose!
10.Last Night's Party. Not Nostalgic photo #2734: For the love of god, hipsters - is the "huge glasses with a dopey multi-colored hat" thing ever...going...to end? Just fucking pick something, I don't even care at this point. Oversized bowtie and cowboy hat? Great, go for it!
9.Misshapes. May 19th, 2007 photo #043: Other than the 3 or 4 hours he spends at Misshapes every week, I'm pretty sure the entirety of Richard Richard's time is spent is a repeating cycle of auto-erotic asphyxiation, hysterical crying, self-mutilation and reading celebrity gossip magazines.
8. Last Night's Party. Bronques on VBS video: If you'd like further insight into the mind of the man who's gotten himself famous for photographing naked chicks on bathroom floors rolling around in their own puke, check out this video. I'll omit further commentary, as there is so much irony involved, I don't even know where to begin.
7. Last Night's Party. Not Nostalgic photo #3057: Is this Andre 3000? If so, cool getup. If not, you look a CGI-animated retarded person.
6. Misshapes. May 19th, 2007 photo #031: How does one even stumble upon an idea of such profound genius as using blue electrical tape to apply a fake bowtie and suspenders directly to one's bare chest? After being so overcome with the goodness of this idea, he must have fallen down, hence the fake stitches.
5. Last Night's Party. Not Nostalgic photo #2731: For some reason I think the smiley tropical Eskimo with the fruity drink and huge tits photoshopped herself into a picture of her favorite emocore band.
4. Misshapes. May 19th, 2007 photo #094: I don't know how long this guy spent developing his Rural Alabama High School Graduate of '92 look, but it's a winner.
3. Misshapes. May 19th, 2007 photo #066: Little Scotty Mouthbreather's mom probably never let him near a playground when he was a kid on account of mental inabilities, so while all the other Misshapes kids are guzzling vodka, snorting heroin and experimenting with homosexuality, he just goes apeshit on whatever climbing instrument he can find. If he didn't look like such an idiot, this would actually be sort of sweet.
2. Last Night's Party. Not Nostalgic photo #2822: Next time you're having one of those Apocalyptic Mondays, where you're miserable and hate your life and feel like all hope is lost, just take a quick gander at this guy, imagine yourself being forced to sit next to him on a long flight to your mother's funeral. It's like photographic Lexapro.
1. Nicky Digital. Loaded @ Lotus photo #43766: You know, pretty much every week people send me helpful emails with links to other sites full of hipsters who were photographed looking ridiculous, and I usually ignore them because I prefer not to look at more of these idiots than I absolutely have to in service of bringing you this wretched tome of terribleness every week, but for whatever reason, I clicked on this new one today, and this is what I found staring back at me. The world needs more hipster photo blogs like this guy needs blue space alien makeup.
Previously: One Ironic Elvis Fan Can Be Wrong