Shocked And Smashed: A Lindsay Lohan Round-Up

And with one palate-cleansing Britney Spears post, we return to our regularly scheduled Lindsay Lohan Meltdown (May '07) coverage, which we shall divvy up in handy, bulleted fashion:
· In troubling times like these, there's nothing like a reassuring NY Post headline to put things into perspective. [NY Post]
· Fragments of the accident wreckage recovered from the scene have appeared on eBay, and currently have a top bid of $800. Just to make it clear: You are bidding on pieces of her crashed Mercedes. The two items on the right aren't her ribs. [eBay]
· Leslie Sloane Zelnik's much-anticipated official statement on the matter is something of a letdown: "Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility." Sure, the press gets a light scolding, but it's woefully lacking in accusatory venom. [TMZ]

· Don't start dialing your local cable company for PPV ordering info on Lohan-Hilton: Caged Heat Extreme Fighting Championship just yet. Lindsay will most probably not end up doing any hard time for her crimes. [USA Today]
· Lohan's role opposite Shirley MacLaine in Poor Things is—surprise!—increasingly looking like it's not going to happen. [TMZ]