This week's Time magazine is full of all kinds of goodies! Apart from a front-of-the-book piece by Norman Pearlstine calling for a federal shield law to protect journalists (presumably so that Time doesn't have to bend over for prosecutors again) there are two essays by Joel Stein (who, you'll recall, is a god to people in their twenties and thirties). The first one—part of the issue's package on why we eat what we eat—describes Joel's 48-hour Master Cleanse fast. Joel gets hungry! And cold! And tosses off a couple of easy Jew jokes! It's Joel Stein like you've never seen him before, unless you've ever seen him even once.

The second column, occupying the valuable back page Essay slot, chronicles Joel's examination of every presidential candidate's MySpace page! It's a terrific concept, and has been for the last six months, which is why almost every other outlet has already done it. But Joel knows that most Time readers aren't even quite sure what MySpace is, so it's news to them.

The essay itself isn't exactly terrible (we know, we're scared too), but the best part is that it leads us to Joel's own MySpace page. We don't know how you spend your free time, but we plan to invest a significant amount of our own learning more about the married Stanford grad's interests. Also, did you know Joel was a Leo? You do now! Further reports as events warrant!