Sizemore Surrenders, Futilely Awaits Debut of 'Free Tom' Line Of Sympathetic T-Shirts

Fallen actor and methamphetamine enthusiast Tom Sizemore—who often finds himself surveying the Hollywood junkie landscape around him and wondering where all the real men have gone—has turned himself in to authorities after an L.A. County judge issued a bench warrant for his arrest:

Tom Sizemore surrendered to a Los Angeles court Tuesday on an arrest warrant for allegedly violating probation.

Sizemore, 45, was arrested on May 8 in Bakersfield, Calif., for investigation of using crystal methamphetamine outside a hotel. He was charged with five drug-related felonies and pleaded not guilty to each on May 22.

But at the time of his arrest, the Black Hawk Down actor was on probation stemming from a conviction of meth possession in October 2004. The Los Angeles District Attorney has asked a judge to revoke the probation.

Sizemore faces 16 months in state prison if it's found that he violated probation.

Sizemore once claimed to have had a tryst with fellow sex tape star Paris Hilton in his home gym/juice bar/sling room, after which she climbed into an awaiting limo with the parting words, "Goin' to Sundance. See you next week." Despite her vehemently denying it at the time, something about the fates of these two probation-flouting ne'er-do-wells seem oddly in sync. We can only hope that Sizemore, like Paris, will choose to make the most of his latest brush with adversity. But who are we kidding: We all know the second they let him out out, he'll head straight back into the embrace of his toothless, tweaking monkey mistress, and it won't be long before the two are spotted playfully chasing each other in and out of the rooms of the Bakersfield Sheraton.