A citizen journalist noted this duo in action: "Jake Gyllenhall and Mario Batali having breakfast together at Balthazar, one much cuter than the other! " Now what Batali is doing at a rival's restaurant, out in the open, is a mystery. And what he's doing with Jake Gyllenhaal, the Jean Paul Belmondo of our generation, is equally mind-fuzzying. Maybe he heard Jake's sister likes to pose topless or maybe we have a Jake + Mario restaurant in the offing. Brokeback Poutine anyone?