'Free Sean Stewart' Movement Not Gaining Steam After Least Favorite Hollywood Son Taken Into Police Custody

Sean Stewart, the differently abled progeny of Rod Stewart and one-third of the Sons of Hollywood—A&E's attempt at packaging the lives, dreams, and chronic stupidity of second-generation showbiz overclass as reality entertainment—was quietly taken into custody yesterday, minus the accompanying news choppers and public outrage that have marked recent, similar events. His crime dates back to an incident from nearly two months ago, when Stewart, angry after being denied entry to a party in the Hills, attacked a couple in a passing car with "a rock, brick, bottle, metal, missile, and substance capable of doing serious bodily harm," according to the felony complaint for his arrest:

[Stewart] spent nearly an hour locked up in a Hollywood police station, where he was charged with four felonies, including two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of vandalism and one count of throwing substance at a vehicle.
Stewart was released on $60,000 bail.

Stewart has yet to release any statement on the matter, but we strongly suspect one is forthcoming, in which the aspiring musician takes great pains to tell his side of the story ("Their car's revving engine kind of sounded like it was laughing at me!"), then going on to describe how he managed to find God during his just-shy-of-an-hour behind bars, leading him to finally "drop the dumb guy act," and fully embrace his legitimate, incurable dumbness as a genuine disability.