Children Of Talk Show Hosts Free To Once Again Frolick Outdoors With News Of Letterman Babynapper's Capture

Irascible late night fixture David Letterman can breathe a little more easily tonight—well, as easily as someone who just accidentally broke his nose playing with his three-year-old son can be expected to—as Montana officials have announced the capture of the escaped convict who once plotted to kidnap the very same little junior Letterman:

Officials said they nabbed Kelly Frank, 45, and William Willcutt, 22, hours apart at two separate locations, five days after the men had escaped from the state prison some 175 miles away.
"We're back in a position where we feel that public safety has been restored," said State Prison Warden Mike Mahoney.

With the Very Bad Men safely back behind bars, and the talk show host's newly reset nose only slightly more out of whack than usual, hopefully Letterman can immediately return to the critical business at hand: That is, handing America's favorite trainwreck starlets just enough rope to hang themselves, while occasionally coaxing a titillating, "Ah, to be young again, you lucky little bastard" story or two from a confirmed Hollywood bachelor, such as tonight's featured guest—Jeremy "Prince of the Night" Piven.