After last week's triumphant return to the pages of the Times Styles section, Manhattan upper crust queen Alex Kuczynski gets front page placement with an investigation of gynecomastia, also known as "boy boobies." Apparently, there's a growing epidemic of man-mammarage amongst our nation's youth, probably because kids today are so outrageously fat. The solution? Plastic surgery. The Kucz is clearly in her sweet spot here.
She digs deep: Not only does she interview her own (former, of course, A.K. doesn't go in for that sort of thing anymore) plastic surgeon, but she scores a quote from Men's Health editor and giant male tit Dave Zinczenko. (Now we're in our sweet spot.) While some worry that this expensive procedure (it can cost up to ten grand to dehooterize a plump young man) may be overperformed on those who are still enduring puberty, others have happier anecdotes:
Dr. Robert Kotler, a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, Calif., said that his nephew, who is now in his 20s, had breast reduction surgery when he was a teenager.
"My nephew wouldn't take his shirt off in public," Dr. Kotler said. "He wouldn't go to the beach, which in California is a pretty big deal.
"In the past, doctors said, 'Oh, he'll grow out of it.' He decided not to grow out of it, but to have the procedure." The result was astonishing, Dr. Kotler said.
"Here was the shyest, most introverted kid you could ever meet," he said. "And now, well, he's the polar opposite of the shy kid. Guess what he does now? He's a Hollywood agent."
Great! Knocking the knockers off a busty boy has resulted in one more Ari Gold wannabe in a town that has no shortage of such scumbags. We were leaning the other way on cutting kids' cans, but after reading this we are for sure against it.