Getting The Jews Out Of The Gene Pool

New York Times columnist David Brooks is worried. Seems that people are cherry-picking sperm in order to give their kids genetic advantages over the progeny of traditional stick-peepee-into-hooha reproducers. What's the problem? The rise of the machines!

When given this kind of freedom of choice, people seem to want to produce athletic Aryans with a passion for housekeeping. There is tremendous market demand for DNA from blue-eyed, blond-haired, 6-foot-2 finely sculpted hunks who roast their own coffee. These are the kind of guys you see jogging in the park and nothing moves. They've got a stomach, a chest and flanks, but as they bounce along nothing jiggles, not even their hair. They're like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime from the shoulders down, and Trent Lott from the scalp up.
Get it? Nobody wants Jew babies! We're slightly to the left of Brooks, but we're firm believers in the wisdom of the market on this one. Why would you want a Jew kid? They're pushy know-it-alls with giant noses and an inexplicable fondness for boiled meat. Plus, they're short. And crazy. Bring on the statuesque goyim.

The National Pastime [NYT]